Road Tripping

The first night, somewhere outside of the badlands of South Dakota, we found ourselves in the middle of a storm unlike anything any of us had ever seen: Lightning in nearly every direction without the faintest sound of thunder or the smallest hint of wind or rain. The strikes were primarily snapping between clouds as though entirely disinterested in earth, their hues fluctuating between blue-ish white and “red in tooth and claw”, as the poem goes. From time to time two bolts would meet to form a jagged circle, a sort of meteorological geometry that defied all reason.  

This continued for nearly an hour before we felt our car shift, pushed abruptly by a sudden gust of wind as the first drops of rain tapped our windshield: A prelude before a deluge erupted all around us. We struggled to see, put on blinkers, and pulled to the side of an expressway while a chorus of hail bounced off of our car.

The next night we found ourselves driving over a 10,000-foot mountain with precarious cliffs just before sunset, and then were safely back to the bottom when darkness fell. We could see little around us on these light-less, mostly empty roads – aside from the herds of antelope and deer that wandered dangerously close to our path. We slowed our pace as the southern sky became pitch black and the northern sky lit up with nature’s fireworks.  For the first time ever, somewhere between Bighorn and Cody, Wyoming, we saw aurora borealis someplace other than our usual spot along Lake Michigan. There was zero light pollution: Just a car full of weary travelers and this beautiful gift of sky. Fuel for the soul. 

 The following night, July 4th, we were once again on unfamiliar roads much later than we’d wanted to be. But this time, as we approached Missoula, Montana, we were welcomed with multiple fireworks shows by the few homesteads that exist along this stretch of highway. And then once in the city, Missoula’s official show danced over our shoulder as we unloaded our car and crawled into bed.

By the next night, we’d reached the Pacific coast and the welcoming home of friends. There were board games and homecooked meals after 3 days of “car food”, and for the first time ever our kid got to see (and dip her toes into) an ocean. It was another couple days before the return trip – and with it another set of adventures – but somewhere in-between departure and return, we each got to spend time with the sort of childhood friends you keep for life. We saw beautiful fields full of bison, moose, antelope, prairie dogs and sheep; and shorelines speckled with seals. We drove into the Black Hills to get a distant view of Mt. Rushmore (unfortunately closed the day of our visit), and in the process met many kind locals – and a man who’d traveled by motorcycle from Argentina to Alaska (and was on his way back down). We explored Devil’s Tower, Seattle, and the wonders of Yellowstone.

We didn’t get to see and do everything on our list, but the roads that cross two-thirds the width of this nation can lead to many twists and turns. Most good, some bad, but all of them prompting our daughter to jokingly state, on repeat, our trip’s most popular refrain:

This will be one to tell the kids.   

Mending

When I was a kid, nearly all hobbies and sports were still divided into gendered buckets. Boys played baseball, girls played softball. Boys wrestled, girls played volleyball. Etc.

I was upset I couldn’t wrestle or play football on an actual team and tended to resent other traditionally feminine hobbies and proclivities being forced upon me.

That went double for sewing. I recall my mother offering to teach me on more than one occasion, and me refusing with nary a thought. “One day you’ll wish you knew how,” she threatened. I don’t recall my response, but it almost certainly involved a scoff or an eye roll. Maybe both.

At one point she even took me to a family friend’s house and had her try to teach me how to use a sewing machine. I don’t recall how I handled the interaction: There are just vague memories of sewing patterns and mind-numbing boredom.

I did, at least, agree to learn how to repair wayward buttons, which has been my sole specialty. It’s sufficed but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit: My mom was right. I’ve often found myself wishing I had (and knew how to use) a sewing machine.

My daughter – much like me to my mother – is very much so my opposite (“complement” might be a less antagonistic way to phrase it). Whatever I try to teach her, she rejects. And whatever I don’t know how to do: She develops a passionate interest in.

Two summers ago she went to an art camp where she was taught the basics of using a sewing machine, and she’s been begging for one ever since. We finally got her one this past Christmas, only to be hit with the hard reality: She didn’t know how it set it up, and I hadn’t the foggiest idea where to start. Because I was too busy being contrarian as a kid to just… listen. I regret that now.

It took us half a day of watching videos to figure it all out: What a bobbin is. How to set them up (there are two?!) when sewing. How to thread the needle once it’s on the machine. And about a gazillion other things. By the time it was ready for her first project, I half-understand the basics – and felt like I’d unlocked the universe.

In the weeks since, the vent in our dryer broke mid-cycle, and various clothes and linens got stuck. Some were torn to the point of ruin. Some have little holes we’re turning a blind eye to. But some – like this napkin – were somewhere in-between, and we had to made a decision: Fix it or toss it.

So out came the sewing machine and with it: My first-ever project. A homemade patch.

It isn’t perfect, and it took me so long to finish I’m convinced it would’ve been faster if I’d done it by hand. But I’m proud of this little patch. It doesn’t match the linen, not even close, but that’s OK. It’s a reminder that it can take a decade or two (or three) before the lessons your parents teach you really catch up to you.

In that, and many other ways, I’m still learning.